31Days {Proving That I Can} Ordinary

Five Minute Friday Prompt: Ordinary

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If you see me  in the grocery store I look like an ordinary woman. There isn't anything strikingly unique about the way I dress or style my hair. I'll probably have at least three children circling around me asking for cereal, or cookies, or potato chips, or all of it combined.

You'll see me get the milk, walk down the Pasta aisle and circle around to the frozen meals. I'll stop and correct my children at least a few times and then continue on with my ordinary day.

I'll line up in the self-checkout lane and let one of the kids scan their food choice over the scanner thing (that's what it's called, right?) and watch his or her face light up because the beeping sound was made.

We'll bag the groceries together and then walk at either a snail's pace or with warp speed to make it unscathed through the parking lot and into the van.

The kids will get settled as I load our purchases into the back, put the cart away and get in the driver's seat.

If you're still watching me you'll see that I take in a big breath and let out a sigh of relief.

We made it. One more grocery trip down. No one was hurt and we got out of there without any major meltdowns. 

Praise God. 

You may see me as ordinary but deep inside I am extremely unique.

God called me out of my circumstances to have a heart for him. He knows the greater things planned for my life and if I am faithful to the ordinary He will carry me to the Extraordinary. 

He will meet me where I'm at and use me to make the difference I so desperately want. All I have to do is trust Him to move, trust Him to show up, trust Him to love me.

You see me as ordinary but God sees me as a mighty warrior princess making a difference right where I am.

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Joining up with Lisa-Jo Baker and other amazing bloggers to write for just five minutes with no editing. Won't you join us?

31Days {Proving That I Can} Write

Five Minute Friday Prompt:

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Thinking back to just four months ago my life was so much different. I was not a writer.

Well I was, but not in the way I wanted to be.

Then one day I got super brave and reached out. My stories were begging to be heard, my heart bursting with fear and hope.

I typed out my first post and then the next, and then the next.

I connected with other writers and began sharing those tough places that needed air and sunlight.

I opened my life to new experiences, new friendships and timeless promises.

As I wrote more I felt free. A freedom I had never knew truly existed.

Because reading about someone breaking their chains is completely different from experiencing it yourself. Like when I gave birth for the first time and in one moment I became someone others had talked about for so long but I didn't "get it" until that babe was in my arms.

And I'm still processing the whole writer thing. It's tiring and energizing at the same time. Some days I don't think I can and then others push me, support me, cheer me on.

So I'm taking these 31 Days to prove that I can write, that I can be free, that I can be me.

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Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker and all the other bloggers who write for five minutes with no editing. Won't you join us?

True

Five Minute Friday Prompt:

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I washed dishes 11 times today.

Yes, you read that right.

I stood at my kitchen sink 11 times and washed plastic cups and plates, metal forks and spoons, glass plates, pots and tupperware.

I fixed 13 meals today. This doesn't count the snacks I got off the top shelf.

I wiped 5 faces clean today. Those messy cheez-it grins, milk mustaches, and spaghetti-ridden lips.

As I washed those dishes for the eleventh time I listened to Bryan talk to our oldest about his Cub Scout code. They talked about honor, trust and the dangers of child abuse.

I cringed when the words were stated so blatantly. I walked over and sat on the couch as my husband asked our 8-year-old some really hard questions.

My pulse quickened at the mention of what other people do to children just like mine. I acted out a scene where I was the stranger running after my son begging him to come with me because I had candy to share.

I watched my 3 children stare back at me as I explained how to run away from  someone who could potentially take them away forever.

The everyday of washing dishes may seem boring. Wiping mouths and preparing meals can get downright tiresome and repetitive.

But tonight I thank God with every ounce of energy I have that my children are safe and I have the ability to wash their dishes, prepare their meals and clean their beautiful faces when their bellies nice and full.

That is the TRUE in my house tonight.

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Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker tonight and many other bloggers to write for five minutes with no editing involved. Won't you join us?

When She Entered My World

Five Minute Friday Prompt: She

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I watch as she sits with her dolls. Her blonde bangs slightly cover her blue eyes and I smile. I'm amazed at her strength, her beauty, her confidence.

She grew in my stomach for nine long months. I felt her kick, turn, and move in ways I never knew a baby could. I birthed her without drugs, screaming in pain and writhing with the aches from my body to get her out. She came quickly and her cry pierced my soul.

She sang to me when I fed her real food for the first time.

She laughed when I blew on her belly.

She said Momma and my heart melted.

This little girl took my breath away the moment she entered my world.

Next month Shelby will be six and my life is so much brighter because of her.

I watch her with play with those dolls and pray she hangs onto her Creator when times get tough. I hope she is a loving friend, and encourager, a prayer warrior.

More than anything else, I pray she is proud to have me as her momma.


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Linking up with Lisa-Jo and other lovely bloggers to write for 5 minutes with no editing.

Mercy

Five Minute Friday Prompt: Mercy

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Throughout my life I've made mistakes. Some I cannot even speak of for the sheer mention I fear may bring shame upon my children. I held onto the pain for so long, wearing my badge of courage while I was knee-deep in despair.

Thoughts of mercy did not come easily. There were whispers. There were mentions. There were prayers and tears. But not until I accepted the gift freely and let my heart take over did I witness the true mercy given to a wounded soul.

We all have these places where we hope no one will go. These spots on our hearts that are so deep and trembling with fear that to expose it would bring sheer terror. But with quaking hands and knocking knees I try to give that terror a voice.

Allowing mercy into my life has not been easy. I bring up the past, give God reasons for my failures and try to explain away the pain. Or worse, I say nothing at all.

I let the battlefield rage on in my mind. It is strong. It is fierce. It is a fight for my soul.

Now I know the One who saved me. The One who bore my shame and died so I could live.

His mercies are new each morning and no matter what I say or do I can rest in the knowledge that I am forgiven, loved and redeemed.



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Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker and the other lovely ladies on Five Minute Friday. We write without editing for five minutes and then share our hearts. We encourage, laugh, cry and pray for our fellow bloggers. Won't you join us?

Red

Five Minute Friday Prompt: Red

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I can picture the red accents in my mother's kitchen. The flowers behind the glass cabinet door, the plate decorated with red circles and squares, the toaster that sat on the granite counter.

I see this vision in my mind and I'm brought back to a place of peace and comfort. This kitchen holds so many memories for me. It was redone after I moved out once but then it became my place of work when my children and I moved back in.

I fed babies in that kitchen, taught two of my little ones how to eat solid food sitting in the tall green stool. The brown table held 30+ years of meals, tears, laughter, and arguments. The walls were tinted with splashes of spaghetti sauce.

My kids celebrated 9 birthdays in that kitchen all  together.

They would shuffle around my feet as I fixed macaroni and cheese for the hundredth time and served cereal in plastic bowls I ate out of when I was their age. We danced around the island to relieve stress and I laid on the counter crying when life didn't make sense.

It's also where I served Bryan his first home cooked meal prepared with anxious hands and a nervous heart.

Mom said she never felt like a decorator, many times she asked my sister and I what colors went together. The kitchen was her project and she made it a place I will always remember. The red grabbed   visitors when they entered the room but the color captured my heart.


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Joining Lisa-Jo Baker  and other bloggers to write for five minutes without any major editing or refining. The point is to write what's on you heart and share.

Worship

Five Minute Friday Prompt: Worship

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I sit in the half-empty pew and listen to the words. They resonate with me on so many levels but I can't bring myself to sing. I'm afraid they are not true for me. The past is too raw and my heart is cut soul-deep.

The choir sings and my tears flow so easily. Their voices sound angelic and I wish I could join in with passion and feeling but I have none to share. Suddenly I think about when each of my children were born and my mind begins to match my sadness with joyous memories.

The last push when my first son was born.

The moment my daughter was laid on my chest and I kissed her sweet nose.

How my youngest baby boy entered the world through natural childbirth in the comfort of my own home.

These moments make the pain of right now seem insignificant. I see their faces dance in my thoughts and as the choir reaches my favorite part I somehow find the strength to sing.

"I once was lost, but now I'm found; was blind, but now I see." 

The promise of Amazing Grace along with the sweet blessings in my children cause me to worship once more when I don't understand what's happening around me. I cannot comprehend what my future will be like or if I'm equipped to raise these precious babies on my own.

Only He knows and so I choose to worship the God who sees me.

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*Another moment in time from about 3 years ago. These prompts have a way of pulling out the beautiful mess of my life and showing me the gems in each moment. 




Joining Lisa-Jo Baker and other bloggers to write for five minutes without any major editing or refining. The point is to write what's on your heart and share!

Last

Five Minute Friday Prompt: Last

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Will this dream of mine continue on forever? How can I comprehend what my heart is wanting to tell the world and the fear that comes so easily along with it?

Sharing our past is never an easy thing when it is peppered with seasons of sadness. I fear people will grow tired of my words, my heart, my faith.

How can I begin to explain what sharing my story truly means to me? There was a time when I didn't want anyone to know the rejection I faced, the guilt I felt, or the nights spent on my knees in worry.

I watched my children grow right before my eyes and wasn't able to fully comprehend the miracles in front of me.

Will people judge me for my mistakes? How can I give advice about redemption and truth when most days my hands shake as I type out my very personal experiences one by one?

The doubt and fear cloud my vision and I am smacked with the reality that I may one day be last on the list of blogs to read, stories to share, advice to pass on.

Then I realize this journey is not just about what other people gain from my words. It's about how I am healing, moving on, changing, growing. A year ago I just wanted to be last, to not matter, to disappear.

Not anymore. If I am last on someone's list it's okay.

 I'll be forever on the list of the One who has taken me down every road, caught every tear and heard
every laugh. And because of that I will never be last.


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I'm joining Lisa Jo Baker for her weekly five minute prompt on Fridays. The goal is to write for five minutes without editing or caring about typos. We write from our hearts and then publish it for the world to read. Please stop by and enjoy the amazing writings of the beautiful women who take part!



Also Linking up with Faithful Friday Blog Hop