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Throughout my life I've made mistakes. Some I cannot even speak of for the sheer mention I fear may bring shame upon my children. I held onto the pain for so long, wearing my badge of courage while I was knee-deep in despair.
Thoughts of mercy did not come easily. There were whispers. There were mentions. There were prayers and tears. But not until I accepted the gift freely and let my heart take over did I witness the true mercy given to a wounded soul.
We all have these places where we hope no one will go. These spots on our hearts that are so deep and trembling with fear that to expose it would bring sheer terror. But with quaking hands and knocking knees I try to give that terror a voice.
Allowing mercy into my life has not been easy. I bring up the past, give God reasons for my failures and try to explain away the pain. Or worse, I say nothing at all.
I let the battlefield rage on in my mind. It is strong. It is fierce. It is a fight for my soul.
Now I know the One who saved me. The One who bore my shame and died so I could live.
His mercies are new each morning and no matter what I say or do I can rest in the knowledge that I am forgiven, loved and redeemed.
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Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker and the other lovely ladies on Five Minute Friday. We write without editing for five minutes and then share our hearts. We encourage, laugh, cry and pray for our fellow bloggers. Won't you join us?
I have the spots of not so secret shame that I try and forget, that somehow come up in my everyday life more than I'd like. But God DOES have mercy. He sees all of us, and loves us for every bit <3
ReplyDeleteYes. I bring up the past too. So many dark times. So many things I don't like as well as the life I have now...and still, I mess it up. His mercy is so rich, though. I love that! It makes me cry with gratitude every time I think of it.
ReplyDeleteI love the promise that His mercies are new every morning...it's one of my favorites. (And I wrote about it tonight, too.) :) Beautiful post tonight, friend. Happy Friday to you!
ReplyDeleteSo many of us can relate to this Sarah. I love how you open your heart for us, lay it out for us. Love you!!!
ReplyDeleteCan I be honest here? The mistakes we've made. The 'unforgivable' sins I've committed. The shame, the pain, the anger. Mercy was the furthest thing from my mind the night I sat on the kitchen floor, back against the cabinets, bottle of Jim Beam between my knees. Talk about drowning. And it took time. A LONG time for me to accept the Mercy that was being given. To grab ahold of the rope being tossed into the pit and slowly make out way into the light. Such an honest post...thank you Sarah!
ReplyDeleteRest in that, friend. That is a beautiful place to rest, indeed. He is faithful. Love your honest share. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIt is awful how the devil will continually rehash those things and make us remember. I have many times that I have to SMACK it down and not give him a second to trip me up. Thank you for sharing your heart. It isn't easy. I also realize what you mean about the part about our kids not knowing...hence hiding my high school yearbooks. :) lol hugs FMF friend!
ReplyDeleteSo thankful that His mercy flows deep into those hidden spaces and breaks open the dark and when we are able, He heals. And that is a most beautiful thing. Love to you friend. Your encouragement brings much mercy.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah...so beautifully written. This has encouraged me.
ReplyDeletewearing
my badge of courage while I was knee-deep in despair. - See more at:
http://theredemptiondiary.blogspot.com/2013/09/mercy-mercy.html#.UjKvyT84TNq
wearing
my badge of courage while I was knee-deep in despair. - See more at:
http://theredemptiondiary.blogspot.com/2013/09/mercy-mercy.html#.UjKvyT84TNq
wearing
my badge of courage while I was knee-deep in despair. - See more at:
http://theredemptiondiary.blogspot.com/2013/09/mercy-mercy.html#.UjKvyT84TNq
Our writing so similar tonight. When I think of God's mercy, I am immediately drawn back to the place where mercy found me. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThank you Sarah, incredibly encouraging and much needed tonight. Have a blessed weekend. Tara.
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely. It is so true that until we can accept the gift of His mercy freely, we cannot learn to accept forgiveness properly and move onward. I love the honesty in your posts. I enjoy reading what you write. Have a wonderful weekend!
ReplyDeleteDear Sarah
ReplyDeleteThat to me was the most difficult thing to do, to give voice to my mistakes and my deepest fears! But our Lord never tires of teaching us that His perfect love casts out all fear!
Blessings XX
Mia
Thank you Megan, so grateful for this truth.
ReplyDeleteGratitude is so important Amy. Thank you for sharing and for reading!
ReplyDeleteThanks Mel, I used to look at each day as a rat race, searching for ways to fill it up so I didn't think about my mistakes. Now I can be thankful each day is a new beginning. love to you!
ReplyDeletexoxox
Thank you Vanessa, opening up and laying it out is the only way I know how to do this now. So thankful for beautiful mercy!
ReplyDeleteOh my friend, your honesty is amazing. Thank you for reading!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Dawn!
ReplyDeleteCasey, it's so interesting how we all relate to this topic so much. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you Kim, grateful for the deep mercy in our hearts.
ReplyDeletexoxxox
Thank you for reading Lori! Our minds are where we fight it the most. So glad you stopped by!
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome, thank you for reading!!
ReplyDeleteGoing back to those places is important to see how far we've come. Thanks for reading Barbie!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jennifer, I am so glad you found me. I hope you have a great restful weekend!
ReplyDeleteHe certainly does Mia, thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad Carrie, thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteVisiting from Five Minute Friday link-up! Your blog is such a joy and the words you penned (typed) today brought refreshing perspective on Mercy :) http://vintagehousewife.org/2013/09/13/five-minute-friday-mercy/
ReplyDeleteAmen sister!! Love this: "His mercies are new each morning and no matter what I say or do I can rest in the knowledge that I am forgiven, loved and redeemed. "
ReplyDeleteI love your quote, hard to believe at times, but it's true. There IS hidden mercy in suffering. Great to meet you.
ReplyDeletesuch an encouraging and heartfelt testimony about the gift of mercy. thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteWe all have those secret spots....but oh how freeing when we finally open ourselves to the gift that He holds out to us. So thankful for this truth!!
ReplyDeleteSuch great truth! Reminding me as much as yourself.
ReplyDelete:) Lovely! I love this amazing God who loves us so much!! :)
ReplyDeleteOh girl!! I know these feelings too well... I too struggle with some of the same battles... I am so proud of you for leaning in and for resting in the ONE who gives you mercies new and fresh every day!
ReplyDeleteThank you AJ!! So glad you stopped by today.
ReplyDeleteYes Rebecca, we must always remember! Thank you for reading.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing when freedom comes. Thank you for reading Deanna!
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading Richelle!
ReplyDeleteIt is a hard truth to swallow sometimes but it's there for us to believe in. Thank you for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteYes!! Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you were able to connect. So many times I fear my words will cause more silence. But then women respond and I stand amazed. Thank you for reading!!
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you Tonya! So glad we are not alone in this walk.
ReplyDeletestopped by from lisa-jo's blog! thanks for sharing this sarah...i sympathize with the idea of trying to "give God reasons", rather than allowing His mercy to do its work (dirty and beautiful) in our lives. so glad you're writing!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! Aren't you just ever so grateful that when we give our burdens over to Him... when we ask for His forgiveness... it is so dealt with at the Cross that it won't matter how many times we remind Him of it... He won't remember what we are talking about!
ReplyDelete"His mercies are new each morning and no matter what I say or do I can rest in the knowledge that I am forgiven, loved and redeemed. " Thanks for the reminder, Sarah. Lovely post. Stopping by from FMF. Esther
ReplyDelete"We all have these places where we hope no one will go."
ReplyDeleteThis is so true...places we only want to reveal in our own time. Yet sometimes allowing someone in is the only way to heal. Thank you so much for this; beautifully written.
Beautiful, Sarah! Thoughts of mercy did not come easily....how well I know this for myself. Can't wait to HCT today!
ReplyDeleteOh thank you Lindsey! It's always comforting to know others share in the struggle. See you soon!!
ReplyDeleteYes Tiffany, when we share our pain we realize others hurt too. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting!!
ReplyDeleteYes Karrilee, it's beautiful and humbling. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing you heart and for stopping by to read!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Visiting from FMF. Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for reading!!
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful. Sometimes recently I feel "knee deep in despair" even with the Holy Spirit. I've got to remember to cling to His promises!
ReplyDeleteWe do Jessica. Clinging to promises from our knees is sometimes the best way to submit and allow Him to change us completely. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteYes - His mercies are new each morning - I love that:) I have to keep reminding myself that my sins are now as far away from me as the east is to the west - untouchable. It's also important to be vigilant about not letting anyone try to throw those sins back on us:) Beautiful post, Sarah - grace and mercy filled!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much my friend!
ReplyDelete