GO
My little boy stood at the back door staring out the small square window. In his torn blue jeans and faded striped shirt he waited.
I looked at the disheveled red hair in need of a trim. He hated when I cut his hair.
I knew where his mind was and part of me didn't want to ask for fear he would say the words I dreaded to hear. I continued to wash the dishes and ask him about dinosaurs.
He answered me quietly, never turning around. "Yes mama, I think the t-rex has big teeth. Yes mama, he has little arms."
I dried my hands off, walked over to him, and turned his frail little body toward mine. I asked him what he was doing. "I'm waiting for him to come back." *Click to Tweet*
I didn't know quite what to say. I wasn't sure if he would ever come back either. I hugged my baby and said, "You'll always have me."
He smiled and turned back to the window.
Stop
*Note: This moment happened four years ago this summer when my first husband left. We were all devastated, especially my oldest. God has done an incredible work in all our lives and I'm grateful for the places he brought us through. I have since remarried and we will begin the adoption process around the new year to make Bryan the children's legal father. He treats them like they are his own and loves them fiercely. I could not ask for anything more.
Joining Lisa-Jo Baker for the chance to write without any major editing. She provides the prompt, we provide the raw material. Join us!
This is beautiful and heartbreaking and full of redemption...thank you for this. What I love is how God used you to remind your little guy that he's not alone. There's so much comfort found in the assurance that we truly are never alone, even in the darkest moments. Friend, you are a blessing...thank you for your words tonight. :)
ReplyDeleteI wondered how you'd write tonight because your story must have had some of the rawest moments of lonely. But it's so beautifully redeemed and so needs to be told. This was a hard moment to remember, I'm sure. Mel's right--you're a blessing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing today. You have a gift with words.
ReplyDeleteOh sweet friend. You know my heart is breaking for your little guy tonight. He is not alone! We are not alone! Thank you Jesus!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Debi!
ReplyDeleteIt is a hard moment but I think of all the other ones where he's happy and has a Dad now. So much change in our lives. Thanks for reading!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it crazy that this was the topic after what we discussed tonight?! Thanking God that none of us are ever really alone.
ReplyDeletehugs to you!
Mel, you always say such nice things! Thank you for reading tonight. You are a great encourager!
ReplyDeleteSarah, this is so well done! And so sweet too. Thanks for sharing ti with us!
ReplyDeleteOh my heart! I am so thankful we are not alone, and that we can always reassure our children that they are loved, cared for and never alone.
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah! I am coming to you from FMF.
ReplyDeleteWas this a lost pet? Oh...poor little kid. I am dying to know what happened, so I think that means you wrote this very well.
Nice to meet you!
Ceil
Hi Ceil,
ReplyDeleteMy first husband and my children's father left us. So he was waiting for his Dad to come back.
Just awesome! Be blessed:)
ReplyDeleteOh, friend. It's tough to see our kids in that lonely state. It's more heartbreaking than our own loneliness, isn't it? So glad that God has blessed you and your kids with an amazing husband and father, and that He is using your story to touch so many others. Tons of love to you today!
ReplyDeleteDear Sarah
ReplyDeleteI hear your heart, dear one! When our children suffer, our hearts are ripped apart with sorrow! Thanks for your beautiful words.
Luv XX
Mia
Oh, that sweet boy. Without even knowing your story, I know who he's looking for. And you? You radiate the very love of Christ in that moment. What a healing love to give.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing with us.
Dear Sarah, I agree with Mia. We never want our children to suffer. You write beautifully, captured the tender, heartbreaking moment.
ReplyDeletePatricia
Oh friend, this brought tears to my eyes. So thankful that your children have you in their lives to remind them they are not alone, that there is still goodness and joy that can be found in grief. Prayers and blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteOh Sarah, this was short but powerful. Sending a big hug in this time of grief.
ReplyDeleteSarah, without knowing your story this is so powerful. Beautiful words. Looking forward to spending hello mornings with you :) Many blessings!
ReplyDeleteThank you Cheri! So happy we'll be spending our mornings together!
ReplyDeleteThank you Maria. This was actually about four years ago but the memory is still so vivid. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading Eva. We were blessed during that time to have so many people support us and love us. So grateful for God's provision!
ReplyDeleteThank you Patricia. It was a hard moment but I knew what he was thinking. As a mom it's so hard to explain the harsh realities of life. I'm grateful this moment is in our past and that God has redeemed our situation. I appreciate you stopping by today!
ReplyDeleteThank you Amy. That is a wonderful compliment and sometimes I still feel like I failed as a mom. But God reminds me everyday that I did the best I could given the situation and He had it under control. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteOh Mia, you are so right. When our children suffer it's so hard for us moms to watch helplessly. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Vanessa. This memory brings a lot of sadness back to me but also reminds me of all the work God has done in our lives and how far we've come.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading!
Thank you!! So great to meet you last night!
ReplyDeleteI am thankful too! My kiddos went through a lot but they always had me there, pushing through with them. Thank you for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading Holly! I have been praying for you.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and heart wrenching. So lovingly told.
ReplyDeleteI've been here too. It was hard for me...but I think it was so much harder watching my kids go through it. Especially at Christmas. But life goes on and we start over. Right? Hugs and a love your words.
ReplyDeleteI remember my first Christmas as a single mom. I was so sad and so angry. I felt cheated. Now I am thankful for those moments because it shows me I can get through it, whatever IT is. Love to you Casey!
ReplyDeleteThank you Alia!
ReplyDeleteSo lovingly powerful... the love of a Mama... the love of the Father.... grace to fill the empty spaces... this is gorgeous! Without really knowing your story - in this short five minute post - I can know that you are an amazing Mama...
ReplyDeleteWow...just wow. Your words break this momma's heart as I remind my kids that even as they grow (24 & 20 years old) They will always have me to come home to.
ReplyDeleteSarah, you are indeed a scribe of redemption. What an offering you have given your little one, to be the one who stayed, to be the one who will always be "home" more than any building could ever be. Thankful I stopped by from FMF.
ReplyDeleteWow, thank you so much Elizabeth! As a parent I sometimes feel like I'm always striving to be more for my kids. Thank you for the sweet words.
ReplyDeleteYes Amy, it is heartbreaking. But there's also so much grace and mercy that has come from all of this. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteKarrilee, thank you for the kind words. There was so much grace given to us during that time. I look back and I'm in awe of the places God has taken us. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteAwesome words Sarah! "You will always have me" you have proven to be your kids rock and they are so blessed to have you. Have a great week friend!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Jenny!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post, Sarah. I so love your honesty and the emotion you convey in your writing speaks a powerful message. Thanks for linking up at Essential Fridays. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteMel from Essential Thing Devotions
Thank you Mel, it's my hope that as I share my experiences I can help others heal who have experienced loss. I appreciate you stopping by!
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