Go
I sit in the half-empty pew and listen to the words. They resonate with me on so many levels but I can't bring myself to sing. I'm afraid they are not true for me. The past is too raw and my heart is cut soul-deep.
The choir sings and my tears flow so easily. Their voices sound angelic and I wish I could join in with passion and feeling but I have none to share. Suddenly I think about when each of my children were born and my mind begins to match my sadness with joyous memories.
The last push when my first son was born.
The moment my daughter was laid on my chest and I kissed her sweet nose.
How my youngest baby boy entered the world through natural childbirth in the comfort of my own home.
These moments make the pain of right now seem insignificant. I see their faces dance in my thoughts and as the choir reaches my favorite part I somehow find the strength to sing.
"I once was lost, but now I'm found; was blind, but now I see."
The promise of Amazing Grace along with the sweet blessings in my children cause me to worship once more when I don't understand what's happening around me. I cannot comprehend what my future will be like or if I'm equipped to raise these precious babies on my own.
Only He knows and so I choose to worship the God who sees me.
Stop
*Another moment in time from about 3 years ago. These prompts have a way of pulling out the beautiful mess of my life and showing me the gems in each moment.
Joining Lisa-Jo Baker and other bloggers to write for five minutes without any major editing or refining. The point is to write what's on your heart and share!
Love it Sarah! God knows the heart-moments of worship. When we really truly are all His. Love how you shared yours!
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful, friend...and the way you live and shine Him is a blessing. Love this. :) Happy Friday to you!
ReplyDeleteLove you, Sarah! Your sharing of your story is amazing and beautiful and a blessing to so many. And I have TOTALLY been there, not sure how to worship and join in when my heart aches with loneliness and sadness. But oh how He reminds us of the blessings we have!
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful friend. I too love how these words pull on places in our hearts that need to see the light. You bless with your words, don't ever doubt that.
ReplyDeleteOh your faithfulness during times when so many women give up, it's amazing - it's from Him. Thank you for sharing your story :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
visiting from the link up!
Jessica
http://mybeautifulli.blogspot.com/
Hi Sarah, visiting from FmF. Like the snippet of the song, so very true. Your sharing of your moments of 'worship, beautiful.
ReplyDeletePatricia @ mojitoandme.com
That song always brings tears to my eyes. It is hardest to worship when we are going through a difficult moment, but all the more that it is necessary that we do. A heart that worships does not look at the circumstances but is focused on God.
ReplyDeleteSarah, you are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your heart. Have a blessed weekend. Tara.
ReplyDeleteI'm visiting from FMF. Love the message here. Grace is amazing because it keeps chasing us. Thank you for the reminder! http://belovedinbluejeans.com/home.htm
ReplyDeleteOh, Sarah! That was beautiful! I love this post... And I love your blog! Thank you so much for sharing this!!
ReplyDeletewww.walkhumblywithgod.wordpress.com
His grace is amazing! Love this!
ReplyDeleteThank you Angi! God can change our hearts if we only let Him. Glad you stopped by!
ReplyDeleteOh Mel, I love seeing your smiling face each week. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteExactly Vanessa! When we want to weep He brings us joy. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you Tonya, you have been such an encouragement to me. Glad you stopped by!
ReplyDeleteHeather, these prompts have a way of pulling out the deep places in me I try to forget. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jessica!
ReplyDeleteThank you Patricia! I feel blessed to have those joyous moments in the midst of grief. Glad you stopped by!
ReplyDeleteYou are right Aileen, our grief can bring joy when our hearts are in His presence. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteOh thank you Tara!
ReplyDeleteYes it does Amy. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you Amy!!!
ReplyDeleteIt truly is Kelly! Thank you for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful Sarah. How your precious words always pierce my heart. Such comfort to see hands that walked before on this path and it gives much hope. Love to you sweet friend.
ReplyDeleteQuite lovely. I like the direction you went with this. And oh how wonderful to realize His grace is for you too, all the time. Great job.
ReplyDeleteThis is so lovely. There are so many times that God brings us to a place of new worship out of past memories. Sometimes good and sometimes not, but He continues teaching us and allowing us to grow in worship of Who He is. Have a blessed weekend, friend.
ReplyDeleteThis is an awesome post. I can identify on so many levels. It's hard sometimes to sing when you aren't sure if you're really included in those beautiful lyrics.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing,
Sophia
twentyfiveseasons.com
"The God who sees me"... does this fact not just take your breath away... every single day? I love this! Simply Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI wrote about worshipping a God I can see (not physically), but oh, to worship the God who sees me! Yes! Loved this.
ReplyDeleteOh, I've been there. Not understanding but wanting with everything to accept it as His plan. So thankful He sees me. So thankful He knows what I don't and I can trust it with all my heart.
ReplyDeleteDear Sarah
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, sweet friend, you will never raise your children alone for God will always be not only yours, but their Pappa as well! Remember how He loves taking care of orphans and widows?
Blessings XX
Mia
Beautiful post, Sarah. I too love how long ago moments can bring up such graces for now. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteThank you Cheri!!
ReplyDeleteMia, thankfully my children have an earthly father now who loves them deeply. Thank you for reading today!
ReplyDeleteYes Amy, the trust is so hard but so important. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you Barbie, it is amazing that He sees each of us just how we are and loves us anyway. Thank you for reading today!
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing Karrilee! Thank you for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteSophia, thank you for sharing. It can be difficult to lay your heart out there with such vulnerability. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteYou are right Jennifer. Through the good and bad He is right there with us. So grateful for that fact. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you Debi. I feel like these prompts become so personal and touch a place in my heart that has longed to be heard. So glad you stopped by today!
ReplyDeleteKimberly, you are on my mind each day and I'm so happy we've become friends. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteThere is such beauty in friendship borne from knowing each others pain. It makes it all the more lovely to share in the joy that follows :) Thankful for you!
ReplyDeleteI understand the not going along - not singing unless it's true because to just go along would be to lose what's left of yourself. Yet - His amazing grace manages to works its way in - and am so glad it does. Wishing you beautiful blessings this weekend - blessings to believe in!
ReplyDeleteLove this, Sarah. It's so comforting to know that He is the God who sees you, and me. Even when we don't know how to worship, He can hear our heart. Thank you for sharing yours.
ReplyDeleteLove you Kim!!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post, Sarah !! I love the thought that even our tears are worship to Him.
ReplyDeleteLove you :)
ReplyDeleteI can identify with your lovely heart-felt words. Thank you for sharing :)
ReplyDeletei love this story...and i looked up the backstory too. amazing GRACE! if anyone knew about it, john newton did too...and shared it so well throughout his life!
ReplyDeleteGod shows me so much through my kids! When they are being snots I feel God gently nudge me and say ..huh wonder where they learned it. . Ouch! Great post fmf friend. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI can relate Casey! It seems like God uses them to remind of so much in my life. And my mom always said, "You will understand when you become a mother." How right she was! Thank you for reading.
ReplyDeleteThank you Martha! I've always loved this song and though out my life it has resonated with me. Thank you for reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading Tris! I always hope I can make just one other woman feel like she is not alone in her journey. So glad you stopped by!
ReplyDeleteYes Amy, I'm learning that God wants us even when we are questioning everything and cryin our eyes out.
ReplyDeleteLove you friend!!
Thank you Marcy! Sometimes I forget the passion He has for us and my thoughts stray. But he brings me back to a place of grace and I'm so thankful. Glad you stopped by!!
ReplyDeleteTo go through the motions is sometimes more difficult than anything else. I'm so thankful God walks us through every trial and tear. Thank you for reading!!
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, the God who sees us. I have to be reminded of that on a daily basis...that I'm not just floundering around down here on my own. But he sees, and knows, and is working. Thanks for the encouragement, Sarah!
ReplyDelete