Will this dream of mine continue on forever? How can I comprehend what my heart is wanting to tell the world and the fear that comes so easily along with it?
Sharing our past is never an easy thing when it is peppered with seasons of sadness. I fear people will grow tired of my words, my heart, my faith.
How can I begin to explain what sharing my story truly means to me? There was a time when I didn't want anyone to know the rejection I faced, the guilt I felt, or the nights spent on my knees in worry.
I watched my children grow right before my eyes and wasn't able to fully comprehend the miracles in front of me.
Will people judge me for my mistakes? How can I give advice about redemption and truth when most days my hands shake as I type out my very personal experiences one by one?
The doubt and fear cloud my vision and I am smacked with the reality that I may one day be last on the list of blogs to read, stories to share, advice to pass on.
Then I realize this journey is not just about what other people gain from my words. It's about how I am healing, moving on, changing, growing. A year ago I just wanted to be last, to not matter, to disappear.
Not anymore. If I am last on someone's list it's okay.
I'll be forever on the list of the One who has taken me down every road, caught every tear and heard
every laugh. And because of that I will never be last.
I'm joining Lisa Jo Baker for her weekly five minute prompt on Fridays. The goal is to write for five minutes without editing or caring about typos. We write from our hearts and then publish it for the world to read. Please stop by and enjoy the amazing writings of the beautiful women who take part!
Also Linking up with Faithful Friday Blog Hop